their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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