Quick, to the slutcave!
He kissed a someone with a penis
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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