Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
