it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
she peed on how many people?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
