Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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