she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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