You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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