Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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