know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
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