its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
