I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
