I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Randomize
