If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
