my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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