I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
