Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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