apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
