4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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