It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
