I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
be right there i have to get my cape
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
