we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
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