I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
