Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
