It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
