she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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