its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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