Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
