You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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