dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
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