Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
