He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
