naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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