why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
