I got chris browned last night
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
