Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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