just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
