The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
