ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
