Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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