I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
