fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
