Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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