I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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