even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
