Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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