Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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