I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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