and you said cock pushups were impossible
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
