I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Randomize
