I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Randomize
