You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
