I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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