You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'm too high and old for this...
Randomize
