dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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